I know you’ve been there. And it sucks. It sucks when you suck, doesn’t it? Especially when you suck at something you told yourself you love doing. At one point, you think you’re doing really great. Until you share your work, only to be told, “This is not good,” or, “I don’t see any good reasons to see it,” and things like that.
But things like this shouldn’t affect you, right? At least not in a negative way. It just means that you have more opportunity to grow and get better at what you love doing… But how? You get their feedback and try to filter the relevant from the irrelevant so you can try to forget how insulting it feels for you.
Even then, you still can’t help but feel down, right? We’re humans, after all. No matter how you tell yourself you don’t care what they think or say, you know that deep inside you, it hurts like a bitch. And then, you find yourself telling yourself the same thing.
So, how do you help yourself when you’re being let down by yourself? Just sleep it off? What if it happens again? Just sleep it off again and do nothing?
Sure, it will all be gone the next day. And then, what? Just forget about what you’re doing so it won’t happen again? Maybe at one point, you’ve also told yourself, “Maybe I just know how to do it, but that doesn’t mean that I’m really good at it.” Because I just did. And that wasn’t the first time.
Nothing can be more frustrating when you’ve spent time and effort working on something, only to find out in the end that you were the only one excited to see your final work.
I’ve lived for many years with no goals, no path. When I finally found something that I love to do, I thought I got it all figured out. That I’ll just keep doing it and someday everything will pay off. But when is that “someday” gonna come? Am I being impatient? Probably.
But it’s just so frustrating. When you finally know what you wanna do, mostly likely you’d wanna make it a living. That’s the problem with us as humans. We dream about extraordinary things. Of course, if you’re just gonna dream ordinary, then there’s no point in dreaming. The problem is, they’re so challenging that we end up giving up and choose to settle for less just to stay on the safe zone.
I don’t know how many times I’ve already considered that option- giving up. And here I am again, feeling like I’m left with no other choice but that. It sucks when your only choice to make a living is just settling for an ordinary job just to ensure your financial stability. To me, that’s no different than being a prisoner, only you have an income.
Is that really the only choice I have? Did I not gain anything from the past couple of years doing what I like, by taking the hard path?
Now that I think about it, when I first started writing, I had no critics. Because the only people giving me feedback were my friends. People close to you wouldn’t ever let you down. If you get a feedback from a stranger, whether it’s positive or negative, that’s telling something.
Somebody saw your work and had a thought to share. And that’s because they saw your work! They wasted time to see what you prepared for them, so you might as well make it the most unforgettable garbage they’ll ever see, and listen to what they have to say no matter how bad it sounds. But don’t thank them with your fist or a foul mouth! You need to listen because they’re telling you not what you WANT to hear, but what you NEED to hear. And that’s how you grow.
No person has ever reached their dreams without taking the bumpy road because no one ever grows without pushing themselves to their limits. You don’t get better doing the same thing over and over. You do something different, something harder. You keep doing that difficult thing until it’s no longer difficult. You take a negative feedback and turn it into something positive.
You deal with your old self, and you’ll make a new you. Maybe you’ll still suck at some point, but never as bad as you did before.